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Hi, I'm a Scorpio who needs some advice from Cancers. My best relationship to date was with a Cancer and I'm a big believer in our signs' compatibility. So I met this Cancer, thought we might work, until he recently told me I come on too intense! I'm not even sure what I did, except speak my mind honestly. Really bummed. What do I do to unscare him?
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Boston
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Re: I love Cancers but they're scared of me
Wed, June 8, 2005 - 10:12 PMto unscare him? show disinterest. ~kind~, cool disinterest. Then he'll see that you aren't a freak, and if and when he's good and ready-- and ~relieved~ that you aren't a freak, he'll go to you. Or else he won't, if he really isn't interested, in which case you shouldn't act like a freak. -
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Re: I love Cancers but they're scared of me
Wed, June 8, 2005 - 10:35 PMHe He. Thanks Janet. I guess I am a bit of a freak. Come to think of it, this is the second Cancer I've liked that has scuttled into his shell. Guess I need to rethink my approach. Practise being cool and distant. -
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Unsu...
Re: I love Cancers but they're scared of me
Wed, June 8, 2005 - 10:53 PMI have limited experience, however I do have something to add.
I have experience with Scorpio women... it was VERY intense!!!
I also have experience with Cancer men... and I have found them incapable of dealing with intense women.
Most Cancers I know including myself like to connect deeply with other people on some level or another and it's hard to relax and get "deep" with someone intense.
If you have more information about the situation... maybe we could help more. -
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Re: I love Cancers but they're scared of me
Thu, June 9, 2005 - 2:27 PMSorry Ciarda, have to disagree on the connecting bit. It is the dream of every Scorpio to truly meld with another person, to connect deeply and completely. That's part of the intensity; the desire to know the other person inside and out. Here's the situation. I simply said it like it is, I like you but you have a reserve that's hard to penetrate, what's up with that? Apparently, he's more of a fan of flirty banter, which I don't really do. Flirting is fun for a while but then I want to know what's up. I will take all you guys' advice; back off, be friendly, be funny and see what happens. But on some gut level, I already think we're not a great match. I will always probe for the truth and that seems to scare him. Oh well.
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Re: I love Cancers but they're scared of me
Wed, June 8, 2005 - 10:54 PM(...cool and distant...) and kind. Hey, you know what? I think that all of us are freaks, Cancers and Noncancers alike. Look-- when you like someone you act on it. That takes courage. It's awesome. Cool and distant may get you nowhere, in my opinion. But taking things in baby-steps is what I would recommend (and who am I?!?!!) so that you can keep monitoring his reaction. If he shows a green-light, then go! If it's a yellow light, kick-back a little. Maybe flirtatious, maybe just kind-- depending on your personalities. Good luck! Please note, I'm terrible at relationships!!! Hahahaha-- I tell you this NOW?! But have fun all the while. *smile* -
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Re: I love Cancers but they're scared of me
Thu, June 9, 2005 - 7:58 AMI agree. Do chill stuff *like make a salad together* or talk about flowers. Find the comfortable place in yourself and see if the other person knows where that is for themselves. Maybe the worse case scenario is that you become friends.
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Re: I love Cancers but they're scared of me
Thu, June 9, 2005 - 7:09 PMMmmm.... Janet has some good ideas... if it's all too quick, the Cancer boy might pull back into his shell... but at the same time, we Cancers are very into family and nesting and we're very loyal, so if you can get past that initial (bluff) barrier, then there's the potential for some very intense stuff to happen.
As another poster said, it could also be a matter of how your personalities align, not just star signs... after all, just because we're on the Cancer Connect tribe doesn't mean we actually BELIEVE anything! (Ha!!)
anyway, Dorothy, keep checking out Cancers because the well adjusted ones are treasures - just wish I could find the right Cancer girl for me! :)
ciao -
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Re: I love Cancers but they're scared of me
Mon, June 13, 2005 - 11:03 AM<<we Cancers are very into family and nesting and we're very loyal, so if you can get past that initial (bluff) barrier, then there's the potential for some very intense stuff to happen.>>
truer words have never been spoken
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Re: I love Cancers but they're scared of me
Fri, July 11, 2008 - 12:11 PMScorpios should recognize the shell of the cancer in the same way that we have our own defenses. I think what might scare the crap out of a Cancer (the intensity) is really more symptom of the Scorpio front. We're also very deep and emotional. Whereas Cancers retreat, Scorpios overcompensate with a lot of bluster. I'd say back off a little, but when you're going out of your way to mask that you actually like the person, then you aren't being honest with yourself or them, which isn't a positive. I find it near impossible to play a game of reverse psychology to garner someone's interest. You can't engineer situations and relationships, they either click or they don't. Sometimes there are kinks but having some patience goes a long way, which is where the Scorpio tendency for an iron will comes in handy but recognize that you need to maybe be a little bit more passive in your pursuit.
I think the only thing you can do is maybe turn down the volume a tad and give him some time to get to know you a little bit better and establish some trust, but still be yourself.
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Re: I love Cancers but they're scared of me
Thu, June 9, 2005 - 5:21 AM<<< this Cancer loves Intense relationships ....but I'm a Dog!
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Unsu...
Re: I love Cancers but they're scared of me
Thu, June 9, 2005 - 5:15 PMwell i agree that the signs are very compatible... maybe your guys' problem is more uncompatible personalities and not uncompatible signs... speaking as a cancer, if i am into someone there's almost no such thing as coming on too strong... i think we work well with scorpio's because they're not afraid to come on with that intensity, while cancer's oftentimes have a hard time coming out of their shell and expressing for themselves even when they're feeling it... -
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Re: I love Cancers but they're scared of me
Tue, June 14, 2005 - 11:19 AMi've said it once and i'll say it again... scorpio cancer is THE best possible sexual match not just for the the cancer and scorpio... its the best possible match of the entire zodiac there is no better match of any two signs
the sign of ultimate love (cancer) meets the sign of ultimate sex (scorpio)
this said, it is a lot easier to make the match happen if the man is scorpio and the woman is cancer... for the reasons you have stated
cancer is a female sign, its THE female sign, the number one feminine sign of the zodiac... so i have found that male cancers have more trouble manifesting well and dealing with all the feminine energy than do female cancers...
so, yeah, he's gonna maybe have some problems/fears with scorpionic intensity
i do however agree with joseph too...
unfortunately, astrology plays only a partial role, with lots of other things involved... personality and most of all, timing
timing is a BIG one!
i have recently been involved with a virgo i did our combined charts and basically what it said was "there is noone either of you could possibly be more compatible with in any way, sexually, intellectually, every way there is... if you aren't already married, you most likely soon will be"
and we are extremely compatible he agrees... the sex is over the top awesome, our conversations are great... all that, he agrees
and he *almost* came around.. went from "lets just keep it random when we run into each other" to actually calling to saying "i have thought a lot about you and i together and i think it would be a good thing, but right now, i don't have it in me to give"
we had been getting closer and closer to that point, he was really starting to act very into me, like a boyfriend, but after that statement, he pulled back in a hurry! he still calls me but a lot less often...
doesn't help that he took in his 23 year old friend (my friend is 34)who lost his job and was living out of his car in and is taking care of him... boy is a bad influence... the time that my friend started seeing a lot less of me exactly coincides with when this guy moved in.. . they are joined at the hip and partying together all the time
so guess what? despite being astrologically destined to be the perfect couple it ain't working why? TIMING sucks huh?
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Unsu...
Re: I love Cancers but they're scared of me
Wed, April 18, 2007 - 11:26 AMit's not you, it's me ...
we are totally attracted to you. like a magnet. we adore you. we just need to know that you will adore us in return. security. plus, too much too soon, too fast scares us.
walk slow with us and we'll show you MAGIC. -
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Re: I love Cancers but they're scared of me
Wed, April 18, 2007 - 8:31 PMagreed here.
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Re: I love Cancers but they're scared of me
Thu, April 19, 2007 - 4:13 PMThis whole thread is weird for me. I'm a cancer who is intense and gets totally turned off when girls "Play it cool" with me.
If you like me, just tell me. Being coy is just going to piss me off and send mixed signals. I don't scare easy unless I'm not all that into the person that's telling me the way they feel.
Everyone is different, so I'm not sure what you can do to "Unscare" your cancer Dorothy. But if I am ever "Scared" by a woman (Which has happened maybe twice) there isn't much anyone can do to make me change my mind. Usually there is more of a reason to be scared then someone being too intense. When was this guy’s last serious relationship? B/c no matter how cool I think someone is, if it's right after getting out of a relationship, I'm not gonna be serious w/ anyone until at least half a year to a year goes by. I think this has to do with the whole sensitive thing.
Well, sorry if I looked at this from totally my point of view, I know this isn't about me, but maybe another cancer guys opinion will help.
Good Luck!!!
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Unsu...
Re: I love Cancers but they're scared of me
Sun, May 13, 2007 - 4:19 PMDorothy, all you have to do is seduce him. Its that easy. If he does not respond seduce him more. If you know anything about him you should know how to do it.
