I always have the same problem too (I'm a Pisces sun, Cancer rising).. so I don't give guys much eye contact unless I'm really interested in them lol. I always get guys flirting with my because I guess they think I'm flirting with them, even though I'm just trying to be nice. My friends always tell me I'm 'too nice'. But I don't want guys to think I'm rude or stuck up either.. so I'd rather be 'too nice' lol :) I usually just tell guys I have a bf (whether I really do or not at the time).. that usually solves a lot of problems, and usually they back off.

i use to feel that way.

till i started to realize it is their fault not mine. Because I can't take care of people more than myself. They need to watch that they are not being lead on and quit giving me guilt trips.

if you are female this will happen regardless of your sign.

If you are honest with your intentions and do not lead others on, you should not feel badly for talking or being compassionate, or just generally friendly.

The mating ritual is quitet complicated for humans, and I think a lot of men mis-read signs. You can't really fault them.

If anything, be flattered but if you're not interested make that known and carry on with yourself.

This is a really wonderful thread. Lately, I have definitely been dealing with this with multiple people. I'm not entirely a Cancer, but I do have it as my north node, and I come off to most as a Cancer because of my desire to listen to people or counsel them.

Here is my take on what is going on. Because we are so compassionate, we are in essence attracting (like moth to a flame) personalities who tend to not get enough attention from other personality types. When they see how we respond so politely and nicely (we are nice to everyone) they take it as a big PLUS since many other people reject them. In their spectrum our being nice is on the extreme, and it's the only thing they know as far as attraction. If they have not experienced a real mutual attraction, they will feel like we are their beacon of hope.

I literally sat and watched someone giving a cold shoulder to a guy, and I felt bad for the guy. Later on, the guy introduced himself to me, and I made it a point to be careful not to give him a cold shoulder.. to listen to him, to be nice since other people don't afford him the same courtesy. Well, it seemed to "excite" him so much that within two days, he felt like we were so close that it was okay to embarrass me in public in front of all of my friends.

I was so mortified that I decided I needed to set up major boundaries. The first thing I did was mention that I wanted to dictate conversation topics. The second thing I did was delay in adding him to my online network (he asked me about it in a harassing way, I felt he was being rude and inappropriate) and so I decided to refuse to add him to my network. Very quickly, he got the message, as if he was being rejected again. (sometimes you cannot avoid this because these personalities we are dealing with are unstable to begin with because of the amount of rejection they have faced in the past) He stopped trying to hang out where I hang out and stopped trying to talk to me and made it a point to thank people for conversations that he did have with people.

I know that as compassionate people, we feel bad when something like this happens. We wonder if we did something wrong... did we lead them on and then set them up for ultimate failure? The way I have rationalized this is that this is not our responsibility. If we take this on as our responsibility it would simply be too heavy a burden to bear. It's not my fault that these individuals do not know how to pick up social cues or behave in a way that is not harassing (they should not persist to pursue you if you are not sending signals for them to move forward). And 9 times out of 10 the individual is not thinking about how they are hurting us at all. They are thinking about fulfilling their own needs 24/7. (I cannot tell you how many of these people I have attracted in the past)

By continuing to be super nice after we have already told them to stop pursuing us, we are in essence enabling them... allowing them to stay in denial. While they are denial, they will have zero incentive to alter their personality in a way that will allow them to be more socially graceful. I have been trying not to enable people anymore... hope this helps! If you are unambiguous in your messages, they will get the clue.