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Another, needs advice on a cancer guy post. we've had our bumps up and down, both going through personal life events so pretty much taking things easy otherwise with each other . but lately, he's pulled away emotionally, and I cant seem to console him, but despite this he's left messages (sometimes) on text etc and we'd talk when we could. But he's so inconsoleable now, for over a week and we havent been able to "connect" during this time and we're both water signs, I'm a pisces.
I'm not sure if he's found someone else and cant bring himself to tell me ? We've always been so very much in sync with each other before I'm baffled right now. I've thrown my heart into this, I think moreso just being a pisces I think we tend to do that. Advice or thoughts from cancerians out there ?
I'm not sure if he's found someone else and cant bring himself to tell me ? We've always been so very much in sync with each other before I'm baffled right now. I've thrown my heart into this, I think moreso just being a pisces I think we tend to do that. Advice or thoughts from cancerians out there ?
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Re: confused by a cancer man need advice
Tue, March 3, 2009 - 11:53 PMleave him and he'll come running... -
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Re: confused by a cancer man need advice
Wed, March 4, 2009 - 12:07 AMhi dee,
he said he called today but i was busy with so many things so we ended up texting ( I was trying to give him his " space " ) then said he hoped I'd call and when I did he was too tired to talk which left me annoyed.
he's my first cancer relationship so the connection is, well, sometimes, mind blowing. but I feel so distanced from him and this gap is getting too big for my comfort. he has venus in gemini. I'm starting to wonder if I'm just his occassional support pillow -
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Re: confused by a cancer man need advice
Wed, March 4, 2009 - 9:23 AMUgh, I dated a cancer with venus in gemini...
I agree with Dee, just ignore him for a while, he'll come to you. -
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Re: confused by a cancer man need advice
Wed, March 4, 2009 - 9:23 AMIf he doesn't, he's not worth it. -
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Re: confused by a cancer man need advice
Wed, March 4, 2009 - 1:01 PMi agree with kaylie....but whatever you do, don't let him manipulate you; if you do, it'll be a looooong recovery. -
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Re: confused by a cancer man need advice
Wed, March 4, 2009 - 1:13 PMcoco, i just went back and read your initial entry. Guuuuurl, let me tell you that I did the very same thing, connection, the hot and cold, etc. gave him space. Cancer men may be that way, and thats usually because they know they have you hooked. if u give him the cold shoulder and he storms in but does the same over and over...honey, can him. it's so totally not worth the heartbreak. -
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Re: confused by a cancer man need advice
Wed, March 4, 2009 - 5:37 PMugh is this what a Cancer man is like ? ok I dont know the rest of his planets, I keep reading that makes a difference.... are Cancer w/ Venus in Gemini worse ?
I'm getting depressed at the thought. This is my first Cancerian relationship - it's so rare for me to ever meet a male water sign - where are you all hiding ?
We did talk today he said his actions werent " ok " but I think ? we're supposed to talk again I'll keep you updated
Thanks for all the input, appreciated.... dreading future hot and cold events. I jumped in way too fast emotionally on this one, its SOOO not me normally but we clicked so well in the beginning. I'm guessing a little breathing distance might do my own heart some good, just hope I can actually do that -
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Re: confused by a cancer man need advice
Wed, March 4, 2009 - 6:08 PMI gave my story about my cancer-man in the cancer tribe... recently. It was good and bad, like any relationship, but when it ended, I believe I was hurt more than others...
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Re: confused by a cancer man need advice
Thu, March 12, 2009 - 12:46 PMThe rest of the planets make a huge difference. So much so that for a lot of people, the sun sign doesn't really mean much at all.
Sun house also makes a difference. A third house cancer is different from a 5th house cancer. And an early cancer is different from a late cancer.
A developed cancer is different from an undeveloped cancer too. To some degree that's just age and maturity, but "age" and "maturity" can be measured on a lot of scales. While I'm perhaps older, there are plenty of people in their 20's who have better developed air signs than I do, for instance.
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Re: confused by a cancer man need advice
Fri, March 13, 2009 - 8:40 PMso you called him and then he said he was too tired to talk...
this sounds like something very cancerian.... we just want to know that you called, and kept your word. we like feeling like you care enough to chase us (even with something so mundane as a phone call). it's manipulative, passive aggressive, and sneaky.
or he could have honestly been too tired to talk.
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Re: confused by a cancer man need advice
Thu, March 5, 2009 - 1:25 PMHe's still distant. Staying late at work . He's interested in someone else I'm sure, at least she's in his thoughts. :(
ok maybe its all in my head, pisces tend to be too reflective
then again maybe not
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Re: confused by a cancer man need advice
Thu, March 12, 2009 - 12:42 PMI'm a cancer guy and my advice is to give him time.
When I pull away or dive into work, it's usually because I'm escaping something - usually something I can't change and/or just need to get used to. I appreciate knowing that my friends are available when I'm ready for them, but in the mean time, I appreciate my space.
I used to want people to chase me down when I "ran away". But a former lover, (a sag), taught me that actually chasing me down in such situations amounts to supporting passive aggression in that it grants me a form of control over the relationship without actually discussing it and doesn't really give me the room or opportunity to understand my own feelings or needs. Since then I've specifically asked friends and lovers to NOT chase me down in such situations in order to give me the space to recognize when I need/want help and the opportunity to actually ask for it, (which leaves me much more open to and appreciative of such help when it arrives). Overall, this seems to make everyone much happier, but it does mean breaking a few bad habits on everyone's parts.
Also, if you need reassurance and support in the mean time, then I strongly urge you to find it elsewhere. If he's in hiding, then he's not really in a position to offer it to you right now. Your needs are important too, but there's no reason to think that they can all be met by just one person and expecting that to be true really isn't fair to that person. Instead of even trying to take care of him right now, just take care of yourself for the moment. I know that it may seem counterintuitive to you, but you'll be happier. He'll be happier. And overall, your relationship will almost certainly be happier for each of you. -
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Re: confused by a cancer man need advice
Thu, March 12, 2009 - 12:49 PMps, I've also been learning to ask people for space when I need it rather than or before just disappearing. However, I still suck at that and don't always manage to use my turn signals, as it were. -
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Re: confused by a cancer man need advice
Wed, March 18, 2009 - 2:23 PMthank you for that advice and all the input. the turn signal idea is a great one for next time and I wont feel so ...lost when he decides to make go hiding..... I think for me it was most important to at least know, hiding or not, I was still a part of his life which for the first time I wasnt sure and it left me flopping around like a fish out of water, so to speak.
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Re: confused by a cancer man need advice
Wed, April 29, 2009 - 10:53 PMI'm a Cancer and I'm the exact opposite.. If we say lets talk, I make sure to talk about it. Usually ends up in a kiss or something. lol. He may be going through some problems too, a little prayer never hurts.. :)
