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It has been my experience in meeting Cancer men that there is a strong draw to each other. I usually end up sleeping with them and then I usually realize we are not meant to be lovers. I haven't met any Cancer women with whom I've had this same cycle.
Any comments? Are Cancers meant to be just friends? Maybe it's that *I* am meant to be just friends with Cancer men? What about me and Cancer women? ;)
Any comments? Are Cancers meant to be just friends? Maybe it's that *I* am meant to be just friends with Cancer men? What about me and Cancer women? ;)
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Re: Cancer/Cancer relationships
Wed, April 28, 2004 - 11:58 AMsee the Mars in Cancer thread for my "take" on Cancer-Cancer love relationships....
usually they don't work... you end up drowning in all that water!
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Re: Cancer/Cancer relationships
Wed, July 25, 2007 - 10:34 AMI married a Cancer, and I sorely regret this. While we want many of the same things in life, he has hurt me so much more than anybody else. He treats me like an idiot many times. Have you ever heard of Cancer decans? Well, he's the 2nd, and I am the third. While he's antagonistic and a homebody, I'm a free spirit and love to travel.
He has broken my heart in so many ways because there are things in life that I've always aspired to and he knows, but simply behaves another way. I'm not sure if I should follow my gut and call it a day before it comes time for me to have kids; or just swallow everyting and remember that he is a good man (because he is; we just don't connect anymore).
I need romance and passion and he gives me this whole "what you see is what you get attitude" and everything is just absolutely diffused. -
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Re: Cancer/Cancer relationships
Wed, August 8, 2007 - 10:29 AMMy one love Cancer relationship with a man was a positive experience overall, perhaps because it was relatively short-lived (about a year). That was many years ago and we are still friends, but I as much as I sometimes wonder if I "should have" stayed with him, I find myself equally glad that I did not. His shell was thick. I'm sure that would have continued to bother me in a partnership. Even in a friendship it bothers me sometimes. But as a short-term love relationship from which I learned to love myself a little more, it was good. For that, I am grateful. -
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Re: Cancer/Cancer relationships
Sun, August 19, 2007 - 8:41 PMIn my experience with cancer cancer relationships, it doesn't seem to be a good match. I am still convinced that its more to do with the person though. Some people are easy to get along with and others are impossible to get along with. I think I get along with most real people and then clash really bad with others. Although, I have yet to find a lady that likes live music as much as me. That's my only big thing, must be willing to go to shows with me.. hehe
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Re: Cancer/Cancer relationships
Fri, December 28, 2007 - 7:10 AMare bizarre, yet the intimacy is strong
somehwat delicate...an intuitive embrace in my experience...
only once and only will i ever be with a cancer again...cos hermits get dark together heh.
strange connection...same day yet one year apart.
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Re: Cancer/Cancer relationships
Mon, February 4, 2008 - 3:30 PMI'm currently involved in a Cancer/Cancer relationship. He has a Cancer ascendant and Cancer sun, Aquarius Moon. I have a Virgo Asc. Cancer Sun, Capricorn Moon. That is a fuck ton of Cancer. We were born about three days apart. I'll give you a very honest answer though. There are times where communication can get fuzzy (my chiron in gemini, makes it difficult for me)
He knows all the right buttons to push if he wants to hurt me (and has), and I can push a few of his on occasion. We're both incredibly sensitive. I know he has hurt me more than any person ever. The only advice I can give you here is that humility is key as with any relationship, knowing when to speak up, and say your sorry is IMPORTANT.
But my fucking god I love this man and I wouldn't give him up for anyone. no one understands me like he does, no one takes care of me, and lets me take care of him. There are days where I crawl under the blankets with him and just waste away for hours, never to see day light again and I don't mind. This relationship has changed me in so many positive ways that I couldn't list them all here. He makes me feel more like myself. Comfortable, giddy, exhilerated, loved. Amazed at how wonderful life is. He doesn't look funny at me if I feel like crying, he laughs with me at just about anything. Our sense of humor matches perfectly. I'm finally starting to love myself for all the wonderful things I am. We both love cooking, and full moon parties, share an interest in the occult. Can talk forever, experience a huge sexual attraction towards each other, and can kiss for days. He is a true soul mate, and no taurus, virgo, scorpio, pisces could ever match him in emotional honesty/bravery and how fucking perfect he is for me. -
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Re: Cancer/Cancer relationships
Thu, August 14, 2008 - 10:11 AMI know it's hard and a long time coming to get a Cancer man to commit, but what about when they give you mixed messages? I just cannot comprehend the whole hot and cold factor. One minute they stroke your hair and start opening up about their family. The next, you don't hear from them for 5 days!
And why do they hide behind text messages and emails? Why don't they pick up the phone and call a girl?
And why do we cancers hurt our cancer mates so much? -
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Re: Cancer/Cancer relationships
Fri, August 22, 2008 - 7:52 AMI am a cancer and in the past, was in a five year relationship with a cancer man. Looking back on the relationship, I realize that while we had a profound connection, we were just too much alike when dealing with emotional situations. Both of us were very passive and we never fought or argued, we were so comfortable in our "shells" (so to speak) that we lost the passion and the spark that keeps love alive! I would say that overall their was nothing negative about the relationship, their was just something missing.
To answer your question about Cancer's commiting and mixed messages, etc. . .
Cancer's are moody. What I mean by moody is this - Cancer's are easily affected by outside influences, whether it be a comment, a vibe, or a subtle gesture that triggers a memory, Cancer's will be internally affected, therefore changing their outer persona. Cancer's are very introverted. The way a cancer "feels" inside, is not something that can be explained or defined for anyone, it just is (Especially with cancer men). I think that Cancer men have a hard time when it comes to romantic relationships because they can't balance - pursueing their desires (and showing you they want you) WITH playing it cool (and being manly and mysterious).
I think we Cancer's deeply hurt our Cancer mates because they expect us to understand them and they hate it when we do things that are uncharacteristically "normal" for our kind. Cancer/Cancer couples are connected on a level that has no language, it is a comfortable unspoken, mutual acceptance in the "feelings" each holds inside. -
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Re: Cancer/Cancer relationships
Mon, August 25, 2008 - 7:52 AMOk, I know what you're saying, but I just had to stand up for myself. I couldn't bring myself to tell him this because he just completely takes me over when I was about to tell him something about our "supposed" relationship; but I sent him an email. I have modified some words in case he ever finds this tribe.
"I think we are better off being friends--if you'd like. This is not coming out of thin air. It's been a long time coming, and reality just keeps smacking me in the face that you want nothing more with me than a sexual relationship. I've been far more patient with you than with any man that's been in my life; and you've run out of "give him time" chances.
You are not giving me what I need from a relationship, and keeping me at arm's length for almost X (over 6) months makes me feel like just your perennially degrading "booty call". If all I wanted was to get laid, I certainly would not have waited around this long. Just a few things to note:
• I am not ok with just seeing you, at bare minimum, once every 2 weeks
• I am not ok with coming over to your place or going out only when it is dark outside. Makes me feel like you're embarrassed to be seen with me in the daylight.
• I am not ok that you always disappear from Friday through Monday morning.
• I am definitely not ok that you have all the freedom to decide if you want something more with me or not and you haven't given me the chance to make that judgment about you because you keep me just close enough to acquiesce to your schedule.
• I loathe communicating with you via text and email (that is. Ever pick up a phone to wish me a good day?
I've made it far too easy for you to be with me, and you take me for granted--making me feel like I'm just an afterthought to your life. So there you go: no drama, no fighting, clean break.
I'm a good woman, you know it, and I deserve to be loved."
Cancers, I need to know your opinions on what I sent him. Remember, I've had enough. He pursued me so fervently until he got my attention, and since then kept going hot and cold on me. Of course, super hot when he wanted to get some. I still hate him for pushing for my attention when I clearly told him not to mess with my feelings. And I'm sorry to say that if I would see him walking down the street, I would not even look at him twice because even our dress styles are completely different: I try to dress like a classy grownup with occasional rocker-chick days. He dresses up the way my ex spouse dressed, WHEN WE WERE IN HIGH SCHOOL. I probably shouldn't nitpick but I'm still really raw. Why play with my emotions when you KNOW I'm vulnerable, when I ask you to be upfront with me?I mean, the guy is over 30...sheesh. And he never wanted to fight, never wanted to argue. He would just hide behind his stupid little phone and work email whenever I confronted him about anything or called him on his shit.
Ok, I'm getting bitter here. -
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Re: Cancer/Cancer relationships
Mon, August 25, 2008 - 12:28 PMhe just sounds like a selfish man. let us know how it turns out, if it turns out bad he never cared about your feelings and move on. easier said than done but its the truth.
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Re: Cancer/Cancer relationships
Sat, August 30, 2008 - 10:18 AMWhat is it that you're looking for an opinion on? -
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Re: Cancer/Cancer relationships
Wed, September 3, 2008 - 6:51 AMteamnoir,
I just would like to know what your reaction, as a cancer man, would be to a message like this. I texted him to ask that he mail back my things and he had the nerve to ask me to pick them up. It is painful for me to see him again. Why would he subject me to that?What selfish, selfish Cancer man. I've never known anyone so selfish after I gave him so much of me. -
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Re: Cancer/Cancer relationships
Wed, September 3, 2008 - 8:20 AMMy two guesses would be:
a) laziness. If asked to mail, it could be months or years before I get around to that. Especially for an ex.
b) clutching. A last visit can force another encounter.
Assuming it's all packed, and there's no discussion about whose stuff is whose, do you have a mutual friend or business establishment where you could ask him to leave it all? -
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Re: Cancer/Cancer relationships
Wed, September 3, 2008 - 10:14 AMDo you mean intimate encounter? I don't want that. I don't want him to hurt me anymore. I guess I should just buck up and let the things go. Darn. the movie was a very special gift.
Since he kept me a secret all the time, there is no mutual business or friend where he could drop off my things.
Yep, I think he's so damn lazy. That hurts and simultaneously pisses me off. -
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This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.
Re: Cancer/Cancer relationships
Wed, September 3, 2008 - 11:45 AMWell... encounter of any sort.
Sometimes people just want contact. And they'll take whatever contact they can get, even if that means negative sorts of contact. People go out and start bar fights when they can't get enough sex, for example. Even negative kinds of contact involve emotionality and feeling, which has a sort of joy to it over feeling nothing.
I'm not saying that's necessarily what he's doing. I'm only saying that if it were me sending the "come get it" message, then that might be one of the reasons. Clearly, he's not me. -
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Re: Cancer/Cancer relationships
Wed, September 3, 2008 - 12:04 PMHmmmmm, you're right. He told me gets really pumped for contact sports when he works out. He like that kind of stuff. That's creepy. Ok, now I'm really glad I got out.
Thanks for the insight. It's messed up, but at least now I kind of know.
I'm getting bitter now.
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Re: Cancer/Cancer relationships
Wed, September 3, 2008 - 7:54 PMmaybe he is just cheap. -
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Re: Cancer/Cancer relationships
Mon, September 15, 2008 - 1:38 PMI went to pick up he last of my things last Monday. He gave me a hug and we gave each other a goodbye kiss. It was really painful for me. I cried all the way home, and it sucked that it was raining too.
I actually texted him when I got him that if he ever wants to be friends again, to just send me an email. You know how he responded????
"IDK if I could just be friends because I'm so attracted 2 u." That was like salt in the wound. He might as well had not responded.
Here's a weird update: since we split, I've had so many suitors fall on my lap lately. And I've actually been attracting quite a few water signs...Pisces and Cancers mostly. It's weird. Perhaps it my energy?
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Re: Cancer/Cancer relationships
Sat, August 30, 2008 - 10:52 PMThis is astrological incest.
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Unsu...
Re: Cancer/Cancer relationships
Sun, May 3, 2009 - 9:36 AMIf Cancerians aren't meant t be together, then why are we all in the same bloody forum?
I'm related to alot of cancers, but rarely meet any outside of my family. Thats why I joined up. -
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Re: Cancer/Cancer relationships
Sun, May 3, 2009 - 2:54 PMits not that we arent meant to be together. Some couples are fortunate enough to have other planet placements that balance each other out. However, have you EVER lived with another cancer? Can you imagine what a relationship would be like between 2 of the moodiest people of the zodiac? One where both partners take every opportunity to feel slighted? Some of my best male friends are Cancers but good heavens. Theres no way I could ever cater to the emotional high maintenance of a cancer man being a cancer woman. Ill keep to my scorp :) -
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Re: Cancer/Cancer relationships
Tue, May 5, 2009 - 9:20 AMog god. living with a cancer is THE WORST! They are way too clingy...followed me to every room; even when i would go to bed, he's follow me; and when i said i wanted space, he gave me such a painful look....it killed me.
NO CANCER for me anymore. no no no no -
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Re: Cancer/Cancer relationships
Wed, May 13, 2009 - 12:00 PMuh huh - yea I say that too and then ... sighs back in I go
you just wait until the next cancer rolls around Erin
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