Do Cancer men do this?

topic posted Wed, January 16, 2008 - 1:09 PM by  Kaylie Kaboom
At first, I thought it was nice that my boyfriend "read my thoughts". You know, he'd say things like, "You're this way in a situation, and you like this to be comfortable", I thought he "got me". Now, he's telling me how I'm feeling and what I'm thinking. It's fucking pissing me off! I argue with him and say, "No, I feel this way..." and he argues back about the way I feel! We end up fighting about communication rather than what the problem really is!!!!

Frustrating.
posted by:
Kaylie Kaboom
Colorado
  • Re: Do Cancer men do this?

    Wed, January 16, 2008 - 1:34 PM
    My BF is cancer and he does that too. Sometimes hes right...most of the time hes right actually...but there are times he is dead wrong. I usually end up giving him the cold shoulder after like the 3rd time of me telling him hes wrong. and then he gets upset. lol if u figure out how to approah this situation let me know!
    • DEE
      DEE
      offline 2

      Re: Do Cancer men do this?

      Wed, January 16, 2008 - 3:06 PM
      we're very arrogant when it comes to being right and wrong about anything, not necessarily your feelings. i try to read people's emotions, but i don't think i throw it in their face. i do it to gauge the mood. i try my best to respect people's privacy.
      • Re: Do Cancer men do this?

        Thu, January 17, 2008 - 9:23 AM
        I love talking about Cancer!! Maybe cuz we're so misunderstood so it's fun to try to uncover all the complexities...

        I used to have that problem with my ex, I'm a female, but I could almost always tell when his mood changed and why, and he would sometimes get mad and tell me I was wrong. It was an ongoing lil scenario with us. I still swear to this day that I could read him, and he was only getting upset because I was calling him out on it.

        Anyway it's not just a idea in our heads, we actually can feel the energy of the environment and therefore we know when something has changed, moodwise. We may not always be able to pinpoint to a T- why, but know that we do pick up on it. We rule the whole "gut feeling", instinctual bit. It is indeed a sixth sense kinda thing. For most of us, though, it's a gift and a curse. I personally hate to have to experience everyone else's mood that I come in contact with. It can change my own mood in an instant.

        It's really hard to convince us you're feeling one way when we sense something different. We will trust those instincts over you, sadly.

        And maybe that's why your partners are so vocal about it. They're picking up on something from you or the environment if they're commenting on your mood/feelings. Next time, try a little honesty and evaluation of what they're claiming, and maybe they could be on to something after all.

        If they are completley off(IF), don't just get mad and say "you're wrong", maybe try to explain exactly how you feel so next time they'll understand that particular vibe they got from you.
        • DEE
          DEE
          offline 2

          Re: Do Cancer men do this?

          Fri, January 18, 2008 - 10:07 AM
          exactly.

          once, i remember i was riding in a car with a chick, and she took a call from her friends whom i don't get along with. after that, i could actually FEEL the tension in the car, and tried to diffuse it.. i actually felt short of breathe it was so tense/awkward between us.
  • Re: Do Cancer men do this?

    Thu, January 17, 2008 - 9:29 AM
    Yes!

    My ex does it and he scoffed when I told him otherwise. It really really really pissed me off. I had no idea it was a common cancer male trend.
    • Re: Do Cancer men do this?

      Thu, January 17, 2008 - 10:14 AM
      I don't think it's a gender thing, I think it's just a Cancer thing.
      • Re: Do Cancer men do this?

        Sun, January 20, 2008 - 2:59 PM
        some people resonate more emotionally , some physically , some mentally, being cancer l can pick other peoples emotional vibrations like a sponge even when they are not even aware of whats happening with them emotionally themselves, but to try and verbalize their emotional vibrations and tell them where l think they are at could piss people of, depending on if l am trying to feed my ego, or if l am coming from a position of empathy and love and sincerity, even then it could piss them off. A blessing or a curse?? depends l suppose.
        • Re: Do Cancer men do this?

          Mon, January 21, 2008 - 6:02 PM
          I do have to admit, you guys have an amazing perception of feelings, emotions, and energy, but so do I, and it takes a lot for me to let my feelings be known, I don't just blurt out whatever I want, and to be argued with about my own heart just makes me livid!

          Anyway... :-D we worked it out, but he still doesn't understand he's being pretentious at times.... but his sweet heart's in the right place.
          • Re: Do Cancer men do this?

            Tue, January 22, 2008 - 7:52 AM
            Pretentious?
            • Re: Do Cancer men do this?

              Tue, January 22, 2008 - 3:48 PM
              If as you say, his hearts in the right place, he is more likely in a misunderstanding, rather than pretentious, or maybe what l am saying is if you looked at it that way it might be easier to not react.,and l believe we are all in a misunderstanding to a certain degree
              Body mind emotions, three brained beings, trying to make some sort of sense out of it all.
              Relationships can be difficult at times though, and its ok, how did the prince and princess live happily ever after????????
              Still not sure if its just a cancer thing though, havnt really come to a conclusion on it, cancers are oversensitive though, that much l do know. which can be good or bad depending on the situation,
  • Re: Do Cancer men do this?

    Mon, February 25, 2008 - 3:45 PM
    mine did that. but he's a psycho. insecure controlling asshole. a word to the aries females...this sign is smothering, suspicious, and will eventually try to control your life.

    Oh the love-making is sweet, and don't they seem soooooooooooooo into you, they notice everything about you, act appreciative, polite, helpful...what a lovely man...all you thought you ever dreamed of...

    it's a trick.

    him-cancer/gem/virgo
    me-aries/pisces/sage

    Run.
    • Re: Do Cancer men do this?

      Tue, February 26, 2008 - 8:28 AM
      oh god, ARIES WOMEN are so annoying.

      they create these problems and then they BLAME THE OTHER PERSON. I don't feel sorry for you, you probably deserved it.
      • Re: Do Cancer men do this?

        Tue, February 26, 2008 - 7:15 PM
        Pretty harsh Sugar. Generalize much? No one sign has the monopoly on any behavior. I know Bishop, she's not like that.
        • Re: Do Cancer men do this?

          Tue, February 26, 2008 - 8:28 PM
          Hey Drav,

          yeah I like Bishop too but she did say "this sign is smothering, suspicious, and will eventually try to control your life." Why dont you call her on the generalizing statement too? Id expect the same kind of knee-jerk reaction from people if I went into an Aries tribe and called them all egotistical bitches. Just sayin....
          • Re: Do Cancer men do this?

            Wed, February 27, 2008 - 5:39 AM
            I agree, and to further the point If people don't like generalizing WHY COME TO A CANCER TRIBE AND ASK FOR GENERALIZATIONS! "ARE CANCER MEN LIKE SO?" Believing in this zodiac crap is generalizing duh.

            if it was in an aries forum they would call us babies or declare war.


            If you know a lot of aries women, you will be tired of their its-everyone-elses-fault crap. They are so aggressive and they usually create the situations where people backlash and do things that are out of character then make you feel bad about it.


            Aries men are a little easier to control, you just tell them constantly that they are a stud (even when they are not really) and they will be happy.



            now let me generalize more:

            Pisces: lying wimpy assholes
            Aries: Egotistical bitches (perfect one copper)
            Taurus: Bullheaded morons.
            Gemini: (don't know them well)
            Cancer: BOO HOO you told me i look good in red or something equally stupid.
            Leo: Copycats and show offs.
            Virgo: waste of space/serial killers
            Libra: Cold hearted bitches.
            Scorpio: diobolically trying not to get hurt GROW A PAIR
            Sagittarius: The worst human beings on the face of the earth, Any sign but them THANKS
            Capricorn: boring fucks.
            Aquarius: YOU ARE NOT AS SMaRT AS YOU THINK YOU ARE!
            • Re: Do Cancer men do this?

              Wed, February 27, 2008 - 7:32 AM
              And for Pisces it's more like- wishy washy, too nice, indecisive, in their own little world, freaks. lol and my bf is an Aquarius.. he is as smart as he thinks he is, but I wish he didn't know it :)
              • Re: Do Cancer men do this?

                Wed, February 27, 2008 - 7:55 AM
                every pisces i know are liars.
                • Re: Do Cancer men do this?

                  Wed, February 27, 2008 - 8:00 AM
                  I hardly ever lie. I won't say never, but very rare. lol my Aquarius bf lies a lot more than I do.
                  • This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.

                    Re: Do Cancer men do this?

                    Wed, February 27, 2008 - 8:05 AM
                    Besides, I look way too guilty when I lie. I never get away with it lol.
                    • Re: Do Cancer men do this?

                      Wed, February 27, 2008 - 8:34 AM
                      thats because female pisces lie less. MALES LIE ALL DAY those babies!
                      • Re: Do Cancer men do this?

                        Wed, February 27, 2008 - 11:53 AM
                        Wow Sugar! You're initial reaction to Bishop's comment was funny at the moment......now that I see that it's a pattern of severly harsh over-generalization, accompanied by this idea that you seem to think you've got everyone pegged......not so funny anymore.....
                        • Re: Do Cancer men do this?

                          Wed, February 27, 2008 - 12:15 PM
                          um are you slow? I over generalized EVERYONE EQUALLY, didn't you notice that. HENCE CONTINUING THE JOKE.


                          MORE CAPS LOCK!
                          sugar
                          • Re: Do Cancer men do this?

                            Wed, February 27, 2008 - 12:34 PM
                            LOL that was pretty funny.... i agree about sagittarius... they really annoy me... they r the examples of what people shouldnt be.... every sagittarius i know LOVES to party... which includes excessive drug use and casual sexual encounters. And yeah theyre honest....but they will lie like crazy if that lie will make them look better!! As for Pisces...i know one male pisces and hes pretty honest..maybe a lil too honest. idk....

                            Heather- I'm the same way, i cannot lie. i will start smirking and just give it away...and even if i can somehow keep the smirk from coming out i will eventually tell the truth cos it will eat away at me...even if its months later LOL but im a taurus
                • Re: Do Cancer men do this?

                  Wed, March 19, 2008 - 10:25 AM
                  wow...i make a comment on male cancers regarding their negative qualities and shit flies. Sugar just reminded me of another quality they have...hypocracy. LMAO!!! or it be fun to call it hypocrazy. Anyone wanna battle? lol.......
                  I'm half Pisces so I'm a big lying egotistical biotch!
            • Re: Do Cancer men do this?

              Wed, March 19, 2008 - 10:19 AM
              hahahaha LMAO! How did i stir so much emotion there Sugar? This shit cracks me up. Opions are like assholes and everyone has got one. I don't even know why I'm replying to your funny BS. I don't pass blame on others. I dated the psycho Cancer long enough to see a pattern that ...seems to fit for the sign. Sorry..I've seen it many times. Cancers spew their emotional shit on anyone in their path. They are insecure, possessive, and controlling. They expect you to care for their feeeeeeeeeeeeelings when they don't return the same respect. Get pissed off at my comments. I find is ammusing. Egotistical Bitches...LMAO!

              If tribe is not private, I am free to make my comments whereever I want. Just as you. You don't like it, who cares! I don't believe my comment was a personal attack on you. Lighten up with your emoting. (a reply ought to be interesting)

              Oh..and yeah...regardless of the astro mumbo jumbo, i will NEVER date a Cancer intentionally again. Headcases.
          • Re: Do Cancer men do this?

            Wed, February 27, 2008 - 6:22 PM
            Oh, I thought she just meant MALE Cancers....

            I'm kidding. Sorry, my knee-jerk reaction is to defend friends. I probably don't take horoscopes seriously enough that I should even post on this tribe at all. So, apologies.
            • Re: Do Cancer men do this?

              Sun, March 2, 2008 - 12:17 PM
              Ok, how about this one?

              Transference!

              Every time I try to communicate my needs he shuts me down, then tells me that I'm doing this to HIM!

              Frustrating...
              • Re: Do Cancer men do this?

                Tue, March 4, 2008 - 2:06 PM
                Wow Kaylie,

                You've got a true Cancer there. = ) Us Cancers are hard to love. My love told me "It's hard to love you". Of course I needed more, so I replied "What do you mean it's hard to love me?"

                It's gonna be hard to get around his sensitivity, I know my first reaction, even in confrontations (ok, especially in confrontations), is to think, or should I say feel?; how this is affecting me. We deal with a lot of emotions, and I'm not trying to make excuses for him or anything. I don't think he's deliberately saying to himself "to damn with how she feels", but his feelings, unfortunately will take precedence because they are overwhelming. In that way, us Cancers are a bit babyish. But it's just as hard for the Cancer, too, that deals with all them darn emotions. All rationality evaporates when it comes to our feelings.

                To appeal to the Nurturer you have to turn that shit back around and say "I'm telling you about how I feel and you have completely made this about you. It can't be about you all the time, baby. What about me?". It may not work the first time you tell him, but keep saying it, and his nurturing antennae should eventually pick up on what you need and want to give it to you.

                If that doesn't work, he's teetering on the borderline of too much selfishness and he needs to grow up a little bit.
                • Re: Do Cancer men do this?

                  Tue, March 4, 2008 - 5:35 PM
                  sometimes you can write a letter and let them read it on their own so they don't just REACT to what you are saying. at the end write think about it and we will talk.
                  • This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.

                    Re: Do Cancer men do this?

                    Tue, March 4, 2008 - 5:44 PM
                    thats what i do with my bf...write him a letter about how i feel. it always works out much better that way!!!
                  • This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.

                    Re: Do Cancer men do this?

                    Wed, March 5, 2008 - 6:28 AM
                    Wow, great suggestion (write a letter). We communicate on a totally different level of respect when we write each other.
                  • This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.

                    Re: Do Cancer men do this?

                    Wed, March 5, 2008 - 7:03 AM
                    I also think when you write a cancer it is important to handwrite. sometimes i over react to emails but when it is hand written i can feel the emotion on the page.


                    well that would work for me.
                    • Re: Do Cancer men do this?

                      Wed, March 5, 2008 - 7:22 AM
                      That's a good idea. That way you can feel the emotion, like you said, and it seems more personal when it's handwritten than an email does :)
                      • Re: Do Cancer men do this?

                        Wed, March 5, 2008 - 1:59 PM
                        i write my cancer bf letters not just when im upset...but i do it when im happy as well. he LOVES them!! I'll write him a love letter and put it somewhere i know he will see it in the house, or put it on his car windsheild. He really does love stuff like that!
              • Re: Do Cancer men do this?

                Wed, March 19, 2008 - 10:21 AM
                Kayl....i believe the word you may be looking for is Projecting. They'll project their shit all over you and when you try to open the lines of communication, you can count on him being in his shell. How nice, eh?
      • Re: Do Cancer men do this?

        Wed, March 19, 2008 - 10:13 AM
        hey sugar, if you think I deserved it you're a fucking idiot. It was actually quite the opposite and you should'nt make assumptions when you don't know the details.