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At first, I thought it was nice that my boyfriend "read my thoughts". You know, he'd say things like, "You're this way in a situation, and you like this to be comfortable", I thought he "got me". Now, he's telling me how I'm feeling and what I'm thinking. It's fucking pissing me off! I argue with him and say, "No, I feel this way..." and he argues back about the way I feel! We end up fighting about communication rather than what the problem really is!!!!
Frustrating.
Frustrating.
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Colorado
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Wed, January 16, 2008 - 1:34 PMMy BF is cancer and he does that too. Sometimes hes right...most of the time hes right actually...but there are times he is dead wrong. I usually end up giving him the cold shoulder after like the 3rd time of me telling him hes wrong. and then he gets upset. lol if u figure out how to approah this situation let me know! -
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Wed, January 16, 2008 - 3:06 PMwe're very arrogant when it comes to being right and wrong about anything, not necessarily your feelings. i try to read people's emotions, but i don't think i throw it in their face. i do it to gauge the mood. i try my best to respect people's privacy. -
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Thu, January 17, 2008 - 9:23 AMI love talking about Cancer!! Maybe cuz we're so misunderstood so it's fun to try to uncover all the complexities...
I used to have that problem with my ex, I'm a female, but I could almost always tell when his mood changed and why, and he would sometimes get mad and tell me I was wrong. It was an ongoing lil scenario with us. I still swear to this day that I could read him, and he was only getting upset because I was calling him out on it.
Anyway it's not just a idea in our heads, we actually can feel the energy of the environment and therefore we know when something has changed, moodwise. We may not always be able to pinpoint to a T- why, but know that we do pick up on it. We rule the whole "gut feeling", instinctual bit. It is indeed a sixth sense kinda thing. For most of us, though, it's a gift and a curse. I personally hate to have to experience everyone else's mood that I come in contact with. It can change my own mood in an instant.
It's really hard to convince us you're feeling one way when we sense something different. We will trust those instincts over you, sadly.
And maybe that's why your partners are so vocal about it. They're picking up on something from you or the environment if they're commenting on your mood/feelings. Next time, try a little honesty and evaluation of what they're claiming, and maybe they could be on to something after all.
If they are completley off(IF), don't just get mad and say "you're wrong", maybe try to explain exactly how you feel so next time they'll understand that particular vibe they got from you. -
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Fri, January 18, 2008 - 10:07 AMexactly.
once, i remember i was riding in a car with a chick, and she took a call from her friends whom i don't get along with. after that, i could actually FEEL the tension in the car, and tried to diffuse it.. i actually felt short of breathe it was so tense/awkward between us.
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Wed, May 13, 2009 - 12:44 PMcuz you're a girl i'm gonna guess the guys are more arrogant. at least the ones i know. heaven forbid you actually tell them how you feel when you want to and if/when they're wrong
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Thu, January 17, 2008 - 9:29 AMYes!
My ex does it and he scoffed when I told him otherwise. It really really really pissed me off. I had no idea it was a common cancer male trend. -
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Thu, January 17, 2008 - 10:14 AMI don't think it's a gender thing, I think it's just a Cancer thing. -
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Sun, January 20, 2008 - 2:59 PMsome people resonate more emotionally , some physically , some mentally, being cancer l can pick other peoples emotional vibrations like a sponge even when they are not even aware of whats happening with them emotionally themselves, but to try and verbalize their emotional vibrations and tell them where l think they are at could piss people of, depending on if l am trying to feed my ego, or if l am coming from a position of empathy and love and sincerity, even then it could piss them off. A blessing or a curse?? depends l suppose. -
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Mon, January 21, 2008 - 6:02 PMI do have to admit, you guys have an amazing perception of feelings, emotions, and energy, but so do I, and it takes a lot for me to let my feelings be known, I don't just blurt out whatever I want, and to be argued with about my own heart just makes me livid!
Anyway... :-D we worked it out, but he still doesn't understand he's being pretentious at times.... but his sweet heart's in the right place. -
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Tue, January 22, 2008 - 3:48 PMIf as you say, his hearts in the right place, he is more likely in a misunderstanding, rather than pretentious, or maybe what l am saying is if you looked at it that way it might be easier to not react.,and l believe we are all in a misunderstanding to a certain degree
Body mind emotions, three brained beings, trying to make some sort of sense out of it all.
Relationships can be difficult at times though, and its ok, how did the prince and princess live happily ever after????????
Still not sure if its just a cancer thing though, havnt really come to a conclusion on it, cancers are oversensitive though, that much l do know. which can be good or bad depending on the situation,
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Mon, February 25, 2008 - 3:45 PMmine did that. but he's a psycho. insecure controlling asshole. a word to the aries females...this sign is smothering, suspicious, and will eventually try to control your life.
Oh the love-making is sweet, and don't they seem soooooooooooooo into you, they notice everything about you, act appreciative, polite, helpful...what a lovely man...all you thought you ever dreamed of...
it's a trick.
him-cancer/gem/virgo
me-aries/pisces/sage
Run. -
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Mon, February 25, 2008 - 5:01 PMHow long were you with him?
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Tue, February 26, 2008 - 8:28 AMoh god, ARIES WOMEN are so annoying.
they create these problems and then they BLAME THE OTHER PERSON. I don't feel sorry for you, you probably deserved it. -
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Tue, February 26, 2008 - 7:15 PMPretty harsh Sugar. Generalize much? No one sign has the monopoly on any behavior. I know Bishop, she's not like that. -
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Tue, February 26, 2008 - 7:40 PMYou may know Bishop or not.....but she came out swinging pretty hard on a Cancers tribe, lol! What did you think was gonna happen?
Personally, Sugar's reply had me on the floor getting a good little laugh, but hey, I'm a Cancer! :)
Love to all signs! -
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Tue, February 26, 2008 - 7:50 PMI've noticed Sugar always seems to like to add a little 'spice' to the threads :) Just take it with a grain of salt :D -
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Tue, February 26, 2008 - 7:57 PMSorry, I have a weird sense of humor lol :) -
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Tue, February 26, 2008 - 7:59 PMHow punny! lol
Puns are great, but I only say that because I'm a virgo... -
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Tue, February 26, 2008 - 8:06 PMI don't usually even like puns :) I just decided to leave it anyway lol :D
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Tue, February 26, 2008 - 8:28 PMHey Drav,
yeah I like Bishop too but she did say "this sign is smothering, suspicious, and will eventually try to control your life." Why dont you call her on the generalizing statement too? Id expect the same kind of knee-jerk reaction from people if I went into an Aries tribe and called them all egotistical bitches. Just sayin.... -
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Wed, February 27, 2008 - 5:39 AMI agree, and to further the point If people don't like generalizing WHY COME TO A CANCER TRIBE AND ASK FOR GENERALIZATIONS! "ARE CANCER MEN LIKE SO?" Believing in this zodiac crap is generalizing duh.
if it was in an aries forum they would call us babies or declare war.
If you know a lot of aries women, you will be tired of their its-everyone-elses-fault crap. They are so aggressive and they usually create the situations where people backlash and do things that are out of character then make you feel bad about it.
Aries men are a little easier to control, you just tell them constantly that they are a stud (even when they are not really) and they will be happy.
now let me generalize more:
Pisces: lying wimpy assholes
Aries: Egotistical bitches (perfect one copper)
Taurus: Bullheaded morons.
Gemini: (don't know them well)
Cancer: BOO HOO you told me i look good in red or something equally stupid.
Leo: Copycats and show offs.
Virgo: waste of space/serial killers
Libra: Cold hearted bitches.
Scorpio: diobolically trying not to get hurt GROW A PAIR
Sagittarius: The worst human beings on the face of the earth, Any sign but them THANKS
Capricorn: boring fucks.
Aquarius: YOU ARE NOT AS SMaRT AS YOU THINK YOU ARE! -
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Wed, February 27, 2008 - 6:59 AMOkay, but you could do much better with virgo..
Let's see:
perverts, weird, anal retentive, too nice...
hmmm.... -
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Wed, February 27, 2008 - 7:16 AMYeah, I was going to say something about that...lol.
Waste of space?
pfft.
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Wed, February 27, 2008 - 7:32 AMAnd for Pisces it's more like- wishy washy, too nice, indecisive, in their own little world, freaks. lol and my bf is an Aquarius.. he is as smart as he thinks he is, but I wish he didn't know it :) -
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Wed, February 27, 2008 - 7:55 AMevery pisces i know are liars. -
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Wed, February 27, 2008 - 8:00 AMI hardly ever lie. I won't say never, but very rare. lol my Aquarius bf lies a lot more than I do. -
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Wed, February 27, 2008 - 8:05 AMBesides, I look way too guilty when I lie. I never get away with it lol. -
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Wed, February 27, 2008 - 8:34 AMthats because female pisces lie less. MALES LIE ALL DAY those babies! -
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Wed, February 27, 2008 - 11:53 AMWow Sugar! You're initial reaction to Bishop's comment was funny at the moment......now that I see that it's a pattern of severly harsh over-generalization, accompanied by this idea that you seem to think you've got everyone pegged......not so funny anymore..... -
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Wed, February 27, 2008 - 12:15 PMum are you slow? I over generalized EVERYONE EQUALLY, didn't you notice that. HENCE CONTINUING THE JOKE.
MORE CAPS LOCK!
sugar -
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Wed, February 27, 2008 - 12:34 PMLOL that was pretty funny.... i agree about sagittarius... they really annoy me... they r the examples of what people shouldnt be.... every sagittarius i know LOVES to party... which includes excessive drug use and casual sexual encounters. And yeah theyre honest....but they will lie like crazy if that lie will make them look better!! As for Pisces...i know one male pisces and hes pretty honest..maybe a lil too honest. idk....
Heather- I'm the same way, i cannot lie. i will start smirking and just give it away...and even if i can somehow keep the smirk from coming out i will eventually tell the truth cos it will eat away at me...even if its months later LOL but im a taurus
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Wed, March 19, 2008 - 10:25 AMwow...i make a comment on male cancers regarding their negative qualities and shit flies. Sugar just reminded me of another quality they have...hypocracy. LMAO!!! or it be fun to call it hypocrazy. Anyone wanna battle? lol.......
I'm half Pisces so I'm a big lying egotistical biotch!
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Wed, March 19, 2008 - 10:19 AMhahahaha LMAO! How did i stir so much emotion there Sugar? This shit cracks me up. Opions are like assholes and everyone has got one. I don't even know why I'm replying to your funny BS. I don't pass blame on others. I dated the psycho Cancer long enough to see a pattern that ...seems to fit for the sign. Sorry..I've seen it many times. Cancers spew their emotional shit on anyone in their path. They are insecure, possessive, and controlling. They expect you to care for their feeeeeeeeeeeeelings when they don't return the same respect. Get pissed off at my comments. I find is ammusing. Egotistical Bitches...LMAO!
If tribe is not private, I am free to make my comments whereever I want. Just as you. You don't like it, who cares! I don't believe my comment was a personal attack on you. Lighten up with your emoting. (a reply ought to be interesting)
Oh..and yeah...regardless of the astro mumbo jumbo, i will NEVER date a Cancer intentionally again. Headcases.
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Wed, February 27, 2008 - 6:22 PMOh, I thought she just meant MALE Cancers....
I'm kidding. Sorry, my knee-jerk reaction is to defend friends. I probably don't take horoscopes seriously enough that I should even post on this tribe at all. So, apologies. -
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Sun, March 2, 2008 - 12:17 PMOk, how about this one?
Transference!
Every time I try to communicate my needs he shuts me down, then tells me that I'm doing this to HIM!
Frustrating... -
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Tue, March 4, 2008 - 2:06 PMWow Kaylie,
You've got a true Cancer there. = ) Us Cancers are hard to love. My love told me "It's hard to love you". Of course I needed more, so I replied "What do you mean it's hard to love me?"
It's gonna be hard to get around his sensitivity, I know my first reaction, even in confrontations (ok, especially in confrontations), is to think, or should I say feel?; how this is affecting me. We deal with a lot of emotions, and I'm not trying to make excuses for him or anything. I don't think he's deliberately saying to himself "to damn with how she feels", but his feelings, unfortunately will take precedence because they are overwhelming. In that way, us Cancers are a bit babyish. But it's just as hard for the Cancer, too, that deals with all them darn emotions. All rationality evaporates when it comes to our feelings.
To appeal to the Nurturer you have to turn that shit back around and say "I'm telling you about how I feel and you have completely made this about you. It can't be about you all the time, baby. What about me?". It may not work the first time you tell him, but keep saying it, and his nurturing antennae should eventually pick up on what you need and want to give it to you.
If that doesn't work, he's teetering on the borderline of too much selfishness and he needs to grow up a little bit. -
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Tue, March 4, 2008 - 5:35 PMsometimes you can write a letter and let them read it on their own so they don't just REACT to what you are saying. at the end write think about it and we will talk. -
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Tue, March 4, 2008 - 5:44 PMthats what i do with my bf...write him a letter about how i feel. it always works out much better that way!!!
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Wed, March 5, 2008 - 6:28 AMWow, great suggestion (write a letter). We communicate on a totally different level of respect when we write each other.
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Wed, March 5, 2008 - 7:03 AMI also think when you write a cancer it is important to handwrite. sometimes i over react to emails but when it is hand written i can feel the emotion on the page.
well that would work for me. -
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Wed, March 5, 2008 - 7:22 AMThat's a good idea. That way you can feel the emotion, like you said, and it seems more personal when it's handwritten than an email does :) -
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Wed, March 5, 2008 - 1:59 PMi write my cancer bf letters not just when im upset...but i do it when im happy as well. he LOVES them!! I'll write him a love letter and put it somewhere i know he will see it in the house, or put it on his car windsheild. He really does love stuff like that!
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Wed, March 19, 2008 - 10:21 AMKayl....i believe the word you may be looking for is Projecting. They'll project their shit all over you and when you try to open the lines of communication, you can count on him being in his shell. How nice, eh?
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Wed, March 19, 2008 - 10:13 AMhey sugar, if you think I deserved it you're a fucking idiot. It was actually quite the opposite and you should'nt make assumptions when you don't know the details.
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Wed, March 19, 2008 - 10:13 AMi was with him a little over a year and a half. -
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Wed, March 19, 2008 - 3:14 PMDear Bishop,
your attitude sucks,
Sincerely,
A Cancer Male -
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Wed, March 19, 2008 - 5:20 PMI see him projecting a lot. But, actually, what it took was for me to humble myself and talk about his feelings and consider them. Cancers may be overly emotional sometimes, and maybe even a little self-centered, and sometimes downright SULKY when they're emotional, but I think I may have learned with my boyfriend, if I think about where he's coming from and try to understand him first, he sees that and he puts credit where it is due.
I am learning to love my boyfriend more and more, now that he's letting me into his shell...
Let's talk about the GOOD parts of cancer males:
1. Great, great water-sign flowing and emotional sex.... ALWAYS!
2. Damn, my boyfriend manages his finances well, and that's a new thing in a boyfriend for me.
3. He has a very strong, heartfelt connection to his freinds and family.
4. He supports me better than any other.
Feel free to add to this....
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Thu, March 20, 2008 - 7:12 AMUm Bishop?
It's obvious you're bitter, but don't take it out on all Cancers, dear.
You are not perfect.
You are flawed.
Not just because you're an Aries, because you're human.
Cancers are the most loving, nurturing creatures on this earth, created solely for the purpose of continuing love throughout the universe. Before Cancer, there was no water. No water = no love. All Cancers do not reflect the negative aspects of their signs, some of us are wiser than that, or learning to be wiser. I've been cheated on repeatedly by an Aries, but I keep that between us. You don't hear me on the Aries tribe talkin shit and calling all Aries egotistical, selfish, and naive, not to mention possessing the attention span of a 2 year old, do you?
You loved the HELL out of that Cancer, and that's why you're so angry, so don't dump all that shit on us now.
Go find your guy that hurt you and take that shit out on him.
Thanks. -
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Thu, March 20, 2008 - 7:31 AMPS.
If your Cancer was so fucked up and twisted and you were so perfect and insightful it was your job as the "wiser", "smarter" one, to shine some of that light on him to make him a better person. Maybe he needed a little help. It's not uncommon. Could it be that you were a little too self-absorbed to do that, Aries? -
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Thu, March 20, 2008 - 8:28 AMCancer's do take a lot of patience and tenderness, but I would venture to say that any sign does, I know VIRGOS do! lol
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Thu, March 20, 2008 - 8:46 AMnever listen to an aries woman about how someone did them wrong. when you get to know them more you realize that no one would be able to put up with their behavior.
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Tue, March 25, 2008 - 7:05 PM>, to shine some of that light on him to make him a better person<
I'd debate that. It's no one's "job" to make someone a better person, that is entirely up to them. You can aid a change in someone but you can't MAKE them change. It doesn't matter how much you're willing to help someone if they have no desire to do so. And relationships are supposed to be mutual give and take. Maybe you were being sarcastic, dunno, didn't read that way though.
Wow, I can't believe all the attacks against each other's signs here! I've seen it before, all in fun, but IMO this seems to have become just plain nasty and judgmental, not just you Sunshine, but several people posting. I've dated several signs, had mixed experiences with each, but I would never NOT give someone a chance, or assume something about someone due to their sign. A jerk is a jerk, and that's not exclusive to ANY sign. -
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Tue, March 25, 2008 - 7:10 PMI agree with you DravenGal. That's why I've been trying to pretty much stay out of this lol.
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Thu, March 20, 2008 - 7:13 AM1. Great, great water-sign flowing and emotional sex.... ALWAYS!
2. Damn, my boyfriend manages his finances well, and that's a new thing in a boyfriend for me.
3. He has a very strong, heartfelt connection to his freinds and family.
4. He supports me better than any other.
5. The care--even though they may not necessarily always show it!
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Tue, March 25, 2008 - 6:44 PMi know. I'm rotten. truth is I loved the Cancer. He drove me nuts. not easy to do, still...if it walks like a duck....
I don't mind having people mad at me for what I feel though, so I'm sorry you don't like my attitude. i prefer to consider it ...saucey...spicy... being passionate..you get the idea...or sassy really. -
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Wed, March 26, 2008 - 8:27 AMYou don't get it Bishop,
Nobody's mad at you for what you feel. We know how to comfort people and take em in when they come with humility. That's our job, to nurture other people's feelings, believe it or not. THAT'S why we're so sensitive, because we know what it should feel like to be loved unconditionally.
If you had come and said " I've been really hurt by a Cancer, I'm scarred, this is what happened.... You would've been received differently. You may have gotten some valuable Cancerian advice.
But you come here with guns, and what did you expect us to say?? Yeah, you're right, we suck?
No, because we don't suck. Far from it.
You talked about projection but you projected your problems with one Cancer on the whole Cancer tribe and I'm sure HE'S not a member, so it was still in vain. All you've done is upset more Cancers.
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Wed, March 26, 2008 - 8:44 AMi've found that with aries women they tend to neglect what they did to arouse the problems they have. I'm sure not all aries are like this but most aries women i have encountered cannot look in the mirror and see their faults.
very insecure people who love to fight. -
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Sat, June 7, 2008 - 10:10 PMi can assure you I am not one that can't look in my own mirror or soul search, so sorry Sugar...wrong once again.
The title of the thread was "do all cancer men do this" I simply added what I HAVE learned from Cancer males to this.
Yes, my ex had many wonderful awesome qualities. And honestly, I am surrounded by Cancers (male and female), there are many things I appreciate about them. their humor, sensuality, tenderness, etc... I do still love my ex, but he is insane...virgo moon may have some influence on this along with Gem rising. Either way, it was intense, I NEVER did him wrong. I am honest to a fault and I will not candy coat things. I think a lot of times Cancers pretend to be seekers of truth, but they can't handle truth if they get it. They also hold onto things much longer than they should. My ex won't let me go peacefully. No...he is in a contstant state of wanting to own me regardless of actually wanting to keep me. Again, this could just be a male thing, but I've seen this with many Cancers. You'd get more love from someone if you quit trying to dig your claws into them and capture them. At least your fellow water sign Scorpio will possess you without you actually realizing it. Normally I see the glass half empty before I see it half full, so I do apologize if I came in here guns a blazing, but I am an Arian.
Aries are feisty creatures, you can go into our little group and bash us and of course we are going to battle, but what is funny is we don't take hold of grudges. We forget the shit as fast as it happens.
My favorite qualitly of water signs is this; they install the desire in me to improve myself, more so than I already have. And Pisces...well...they just keep me laughing.
And the one thing I probably despise my ex for is that damn sex. Un-fucking-real. Maybe I hate him for having me cock whipped. That has never happend before. Kudos to Cancer for that booty supplying.
There...you all feel better now?
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Wed, March 26, 2008 - 8:59 AMAries Cancer is a funny mix. The Aries needs to be first and right.
The Cancer wants Everything to be right.
These two signs cause a natural Square.
My oldest daughter is an Aries, and of the Aries I've been close too, I have always felt a sense of having to manage the relationship.
This works fine for My child, or even a friend, let them lead, but work to manage were WE are going.
In a Love relationship, and Aries just might feel a sense of being manipulated, and in the quiet times most needed by the Cancer. (that feeling of saying nothing, not really interacting, be FEELIN each other, The cancers will know exactly what I’m talking about)
Anyway the quiet times, The cancer won’t get this connection, or it will feel static-y, and the Aries will feel disconnected w/o activity.
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Tue, June 10, 2008 - 1:28 AMI used to. But that was a very long time ago. -
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Tue, June 10, 2008 - 7:53 AMHmmm, well... let's hope the one I was talking about grows out of it too. He lost a very good thing in me... ;-) -
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Tue, June 10, 2008 - 12:41 PMMy Cancer guy lost a good thing in me too...I gotta say though...I really miss him and his tenderness. That's really hard to find in other signs...trust me. -
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Tue, June 10, 2008 - 12:52 PMYeah, but not if it's fake! lol -
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Tue, June 10, 2008 - 1:16 PMYeah, you're right. If it was fake, i didn't notice it. Remember Kaylie that we're a bit intuitive and maybe a little bit clairvoyant :) -
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Tue, June 10, 2008 - 1:43 PMI notice the tenderness about Cancer men too :) And I'm a Pisces Sun, Cancer rising so I'm also very intuitive and can tell fake from true emotions and tenderness.. and usually with Cancer men their emotions that they show seem to be real :) -
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Tue, June 10, 2008 - 3:44 PMWell, okay:
Here's my story...
The emotions may have been real, but he held it all behind his shell. They came out, and he said it was because he wanted to make me happy... to me that's fake. Feel what you feel for me BECAUSE YOU feel it, don't show me some side of you because you want to make me happy. Maybe that was the intuitive part of him coming out, he wanted to make me happy and was trying, but ignoring his own feelings at the same time...?
Which, I suppose is quite tender! ;-)
But, also, in the end hurt me immensely, because I showed him my TRUE feelings and loved him SO much! -
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Wed, June 11, 2008 - 12:28 PMKaylie,
I feel you so much. I showed my guy my true feelings, and he knew how I felt a...and the hurt it caused me, oh ma, the HURT!
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Fri, June 13, 2008 - 9:57 AMUm....
Feeling is feeling. Showing is showing. They are two different things. Not showing doesn't mean not feeling. And feeling doesn't necessarily mean showing.
He could well have meant that his feelings were his feelings and that his _showing_ you his feelings was in order to make you happy.
I'm cancer. I'm also autistic. Displaying emotions doesn't come naturally to me. I have had to learn to do so explicitly and the only time it's been necessary for me to learn to do so explicitly is when someone I cared about projected something into my displays that wasn't what I felt. I've learned to display precisely because it's what other people need, not because displaying helps me in any particular way other than socially, (by making other people happy).
I don't know him, of course, so I'm not trying to make any claims about what he was doing, his motivations, etc. I just mean to point out that there are other possibilities here from what you've posted. -
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Fri, June 13, 2008 - 1:28 PMYeah a Cancer will do that, I'm a Cancer woman and I've done the same thing, it's not fair to the other person, but sometimes it's to protect your feelings, because no Cancer wants to just hurt someone's feelings, especially if you're being nice to us and showing us so much love, we'll kind of keep you hanging a little to decide what we want to do.
It's easier if we're crabby and don't like you. But if you're giving us affection, we don't wanna hurt your feelings, especially when you make them so apparent, or just burst your bubble even though it's misleading we still care about your feelings even when we're not head over heals in love, unfortunately.
Not saying that that's the right thing, eventually it will show that we're just being nice, but it really means the Cancer was too chicken to be straight up. Or maybe he wanted to hang on and see if something would come out of it, giving it the benefit of the doubt, just throwing some thoughts out there from experience....
A lesson for the other side is don't ignore the signs... -
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Wed, June 18, 2008 - 12:27 PMYeah, I thought he was just trying to not hurt my feelings, so I pulled away for like a week or so and he kept looking for me...even more so. His MO to find out if I'm pissed is "Hey, what's up?". Thats how I knew he was trying to gauge if I was pissed or at least still interested...so, thats how I knew he wasn't just trying to be nice; or am I wrong? -
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Thu, June 19, 2008 - 9:24 AMUgh. Yeah, the push and pull game is not fun for me... -
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Re: Do Cancer men do this?
Tue, June 24, 2008 - 12:15 PMIt's still part of being nice. But they have to have had some affection for you too, probably not as much as you would have liked or in the way that you want.
And of course when you try to go away they call you back, that's because the way we're wired, our feelings get hurt if anyone rejects us, even if we don't wanna give it 100% we still miss you when you try to take your attention away. We'll try to at least keep you as a friend even if it doesn't work out. Cancer doesn't want you to turn cold and walk away.. no... we need you to still care about us for emotional support, not to be in love but we don't want to deal with any immediate emotional pain or loss.
In a way I don't see a problem with that, aren’t we all here to love each other anyway? But somewhere it has to be said "Hey I care about you, but I don't want to be with you romantically, is that ok?", instead of leading you on or keeping you guessing. Even though most of the time for me that doesn't work, for people who are trying to be with me will hang on and think they can change my mind eventually. But quite a few guys have touched the huge heart that I have, which is pretty easy after having one good conversation ….. It’s always something for me to love about people…. and I’ve had some great connections and some fun, but for lack of chemistry or for whatever reason I couldn't give them what they wanted, but I still didn't want them to be just go away like "nice knowing you"... and don't return my calls and shit, that still hurts. Romance isn't the only kind of love out there...
But it’s a different story if you’re being misled and they keep promising you time and pretending you’re a couple and then keep putting you off, that sounds they have you dangling just in case, or using you for emotional support to make themselves feel secure, knowing there’s at least one person out there that cares, but in Cancer’s defense we’re helpless in that case until we become more aware of ourselves, and even then it’s hard to control that urge to hang on. I think in that case it's time for someone to be honest, either the Cancer needs to be honest and say "I don't want to be with you like that" or you have to be honest with yourself and say "You're not interested in me, are you?"
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